If you could paint your child’s life, what colours would you choose?
If you could paint your child’s life, what colours would you choose? Most of us would reach for the brightest yellows of joy and the sunny oranges of excitement. Our deepest wish is to create a masterpiece of pure happiness for them. But a true masterpiece needs contrast; it needs the deep blues of sadness and the fiery reds of anger to have depth and meaning.
This desire to protect our children from every hurt is born from love. So when we see a frown, our instinct is to “fix it” immediately—to paint over the sadness with a distraction. But in doing this, we accidentally teach a powerful lesson: that only “happy” feelings are acceptable, and their sadness or anger is something to be hidden. This can prevent them from learning how to navigate the full, colourful spectrum of life.
So, how can we help our children navigate their emotional world and grow into resilient individuals?
For your infant: Remember, crying is their only language. When they cry, they might be hungry, tired, or just need a cuddle. Responding with comfort teaches them they are safe and loved, building a foundation of trust.
For your toddler: Their world is full of big emotions they can’t yet name. A tantrum over a broken biscuit isn’t defiance; it’s overwhelming disappointment. Instead of saying, “Don’t cry,” try acknowledging their feeling: “I can see you’re very sad the biscuit broke. That is disappointing.” This simple validation helps them feel understood.
For your teen: Mood swings are a part of growing up. When they are upset, lend a listening ear instead of offering quick fixes. Recognizing their feelings (“It sounds like that was really frustrating”) opens the door for connection when they need it most.
Our goal isn’t to create a bubble of constant happiness. It’s to be a safe harbour where our children learn that all their feelings are welcome. By coaching them through their storms, we give them the tools to navigate life’s waves with a strong and honest heart.